How to Find A Good Babysitter

As a parent of a tween you may think finding a babysitter for an older child is a piece of cake.  Think again.  You should still use care when choosing a babysitter for the older child.  Of course, many parents are lucky enough to have grandparents or other family members close by to help babysit, but when you’re far way from family, how can you find the right babysitter?

First turn to the mom-network. Ask friends, co-workers and other moms.  While they may not be willing to share their favorite babysitter with you, they may have additional candidates for the job.   Just letting people know you’re looking for a babysitter will cause candidates to come your way.

Don’t forget the local YMCA or a house of worship.  The Y often runs babysitting certification classes and a church or synagogue often has members of the youth group babysit kids during services.  Both places are great to find experienced trusted sitters.

The local college is also a  great source for babysitters – with more fleixibility and mobilut than high school students, you’ll likely find students who are eager for a part-time job.  Check with the education department as well – students training to be teachers often love to babysit.   And your tween will totally look up to the cool babysitter – and feel less like they’re being babied.

Once you have selected some babysitter candidates, it’s time to form a list of questions to ask the babysitter.  Start by discussing their experience.  See if they have babysat for other kids and their ages.  Find out if they have taken a babysitting certification course, including first aid and CPR. Ask them if they have preferences on what ages of children they like to watch and what they would do during their time with the kids.   Throw out some ordinary and not-so ordinary scenarios to them and see how they would react.

Ask for references and check them carefully.  Good babysitters will be happy to provide references – whether they’re other parents or coaches or teachers. If your babysitter seems reluctant to give your references that might be a red flag.

Once you have narrowed your candidate pool to one or two, set up a trial babysitting time. You should let your kids and the babysitter interact without you hovering – disappear into another part of the house, go for a short walk, or run over to a neighbor’s.  Your kids are a great judge of character and they will be able to tell you what they think of the new babysitter – and she will know who she needs to impress.  If your kids are younger and can’t talk, give the babysitter some space put poke your head in from time to time to see the interaction.

Using these strategies to find a babysitter will make the whole process that much easier. Knowing what questions to ask a babysitter will make finding a good babysitter a piece of cake.

Relationship problems can appear once couples  have been married for awhile.  Once the joy of being newly married has worn off, and they have spent a lot of time with their spouse, one partner or another may begin to feel that they don’t have as much in common as they thought.  Or one spouse may wish to take up a new activity that holds no interest to the other.

All marriages go through highs and lows.  Marriage problems begin to rear their head when couples become stressed about parenting issues or job issues.  Top it off with  financial issues like money worries, saving for a house and different spending habits and all of a sudden it may seem that a great marriage is a totally unattainable goal.  Soon you and your happy spouse may fight, act resentful or give each other the silent treatment.   Arguments where hurtful things are said, or worse, when nothing is said can turn a small issue into a huge one.  To avoid getting to that point, use some of these tips to restore harmony in your marriage.

• Remember why you got married in the first place – what attracted you to each other. Find those feelings and bring them to the surface.  Make sure your partner knows you are still attracted physically and mentally.
• Start by really listening to your partner.  What important thing are they trying to say?  Listen respectfully and don’t judge.  Don’t jump into solution mode, instead just listen for awhile before offering advice.  Maybe your spouse just wants a sympathetic ear, not a therapist.
• Go out without the kids.  Get a babysitter and try date night. Try to go several times a month – you don’t need to spend a lot of money – you could have a picnic in the park, for instance, but just take the time to relax and focus on your relationship as a couple without worrying about the kids or housework

A perfect marriage doesn’t really exist. Just about all married couples will admit to having ups and downs in their relationship.  So strive for a great marriage where the two of you have time together, are loving and remember why you got married in the first place.

Have one of the children be a spotter. Ask them to listen to make sure Dad doesn’t get up too early. Better yet, why not have the children go in and snuggle with Dad while you fix breakfast?

Breakfast in bed doesn’t have to be elaborate if it’s done with love. Children bringing in peanut butter and jelly sandwiches they’ve made with their own hands can be just as special as a three-course meal with gourmet coffee. The point is that you’re trying to honor him on Father’s Day and he’ll appreciate the effort.

If you would like to prepare something more sophisticated, why not prepare Hawaiian Omelets? For this breakfast treat you’ll need six eggs for three servings, 1/2 cup small pineapple chunks, 1/2 cup cubed ham or turkey, 1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese, 1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese, 6 tablespoons of water, and salt and pepper to taste.

Spray a skillet with non-stick spray and heat it over medium high heat. As the skillet is heating, beat the eggs, water and seasoning. Pour the mixture over the heated skillet and watch until the eggs are almost set. Sprinkle one half of the omelet with the remaining ingredients and fold the remaining half of the omelet over. Continue cooking this for about two more minutes or until the cheese has melted. Cut the omelet into three wedges and serve while hot.

Pancakes or waffles are another popular stay-in-bed breakfast. Once the pancakes or waffles are done, make them special by putting Dad’s favorite fruit over the top, sprinkle them with powdered sugar, and then put whipped cream on top. Dad will feel like he’s dining at a restaurant. Fresh squeezed orange juice and a great cup of Joe will finish the meal.

Is Dad a carnivore from the word ‘go’? Make him his favorite breakfast meat – steak, bacon, or sausage – along with eggs fixed the way he prefers. Don’t forget heart-shaped cookies or toast cut into the shape of a heart with a red jelly to let Dad know how much he’s loved.

Perhaps Dad is trying to lose weight or is on a health kick. Instead of breakfast with fatty meats, prepare a fruit smoothie he can savor. For some added health, toss in a handful of baby spinach while you’re preparing the smoothie; a green smoothie may not look the most appetizing but it sure does taste good and it’s so good for you!

Experts tell you breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Since this is true, you’ll want to treat the most important man in your life to a special stay-in-bed Father’s Day breakfast. Take his favorite foods, serve them with love, and he’ll feel like the king of the world.

When Dad was a child, there were probably games he enjoyed playing. Monopoly, Clue, Scrabble, and Uno are games which have been around for a number of years. Consider having a family game night, being sure to include some of his favorite games. Prepare his favorite snack foods and have fun!

June is a great time to get outdoors for family fun that doesn’t have to cost much. Find a local nature preserve, forest preserve, or city park. Pack a picnic lunch which you can leave in the car until after your short hike. Bring along a ball and gloves, Frisbees, or other sports equipment everyone can use.

Go camping for Father’s Day weekend. You don’t have to go a long distance to go camping. Why not set up camp right in your own backyard? You’ll have access to everything you need without having to pack it all up, as well as being able to use the restroom which you know doesn’t have spiders or other creepy crawlies in it.

Take Dad fishing if it’s been a while. Of course, this dictates that adults and teens over sixteen have a fishing license, but it could be really fun. For those in the family who don’t enjoy fishing, let them bring along a book or another quiet activity so they can enjoy themselves, too.

Let Dad sleep in on Father’s Day. He works hard all week and probably chauffeurs the family on Saturday to one activity or another. He deserves at least one day a week to sleep late, rest, and recuperate. You may even want to prepare a great breakfast in bed for him.

Rent a movie he’s wanted to see for a while. Even if the movie is not to your taste, sit down with a big bowl of popcorn or another snack and watch it with him. He will probably appreciate the effort you’re making to share the day with him on his special day.

As the evening draws to a close, the final fun and frugal Father’s Day activity you may want to have is to take everyone to a secluded place away from the city lights. Set out blankets for everyone to lie out on, and look at the stars. This is particularly a great idea for Dads who are interested in astronomy. Not only will he enjoy his time with his family, he can show off his knowledge of the constellations.

Family Dinners Create Bonds

Busy schedules seem to make it nearly impossible to share a meal together as a family. Even though you, your partner, and your children may all have busy schedules, having family dinner is important. Not only does eating together nourish your body, it’s a nurturing tradition.

Many families these days have allowed their schedules to dictate how and where they eat. Rather than spending dinner time together as a family around the table, there are meetings, sports practice, and other obligations to meet. As a result, they may be growing further and further apart.

One of the many benefits of sharing family dinner together is that it keeps the family connected. The children know they’ll have their parents’ undivided attention at that time. The family can talk about their lives, share concerns, and seek support and advice for dealing with problems.

For many people, as they were growing up, having dinner together as a family was one way to share their love for one another. There was time to communicate opinions without fear of reprisal, and few topics were off limits. For children, having their parents’ undivided attention was an expression of love.

Sharing meals is also a way for a family to develop trust among the members. The family dinner table was the place parents could teach their children to share their feelings, reinforce the family’s values, learn to take turns talking, and explain why family traditions are important.

Research has proven overwhelmingly that children who have meals with their family at least twice a week are less likely to try drugs or alcohol, less likely to become depressed, and more likely to make good grades. Who knew eating with your family around the dinner table could be so good for children and teens?

Another benefit of having a family dinner is helping your family develop good eating habits. When you’re eating at home, you’re less likely to be eating as much junk food. If you’re running from place to place, you’ll likely pick up fast food in between activities. That’s no way to eat on regular basis. Eating at home allows you to provide fruits and vegetables, control sweets, and control the fats your family eats.

Eating at home is also considerably cheaper than eating out. You have control over how much you spend, the serving sizes your family eats and the types of foods you buy. Since you’re at home, why not teach the children and teens in your family how to cook so they’ll have that skill when they move out?

It is possible someone in the family will have an activity or appointment that can’t be broken, and that’s okay. Having an occasional meal where the whole family can’t be present isn’t a problem. When you’re trying to create a nurturing tradition such as family dinner, it’s important to be flexible but not allow the interruptions to your family dinners become the norm.

Do Tween Birthday Parties Need to Break the Bank?

Last week while attending a birthday party at one of those indoor bounce places, I watched as the kids were led from room to room bouncing on giant inflatable slides, in ball pits, boxing rings, etc. Then after they were as red in the face as they could get, they were brought to a room for pizza and cake, handed a goodie bag and sent home. In a way, it was déjà vu from another recent party we were at where the kids learned to climb rock walls and jump on trampolines wearing bungee cords. After an hour, a person in a collared shirt led them to a private room for pizza, cake and a goodie bag. A few months ago it was a similar story only at a movie theater…pizza, cake and then a movie.

While I am sure a great time was had by all, the fact is I feel like birthday parties have become increasingly formulaic (not to mention expensive). Each of the above mentioned parties probably cost somewhere between $300 and $500 for an hour and a half of entertainment. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve rented out roller rinks, done the Build-a-something parties, the big gym parties…I’ve planned them all. I’ve paid for them all.  It’s definitely convenient for the parents and exciting for the kids. But, do they really have more fun? I’ve seen bigger smiles after a karaoke sleepover or a backyard pool party than I have after parties at more “exciting” venues.

I’ve decided to start making a list of ideas for more economical, yet imaginative parties. The nice thing about tween girls is they are always open to creativity. Here are a few of the things I’ve found so far: 1) a mall scavenger hunt where all items on the list are free. I like this because it doesn’t require turning your house upside down and the girls don’t have to spend any money;  2) a manicure or spa party – either at a salon or at home; 3) a scrapbooking party where everyone brings photos and memorabilia while you supply the glue, paper, etc.; 4) A glow in the dark party. This would be great for a summer night – glow sticks/necklaces, glow in the dark straws and cups, flashlight games like capture the flag and tag.

There really are a lot of great ideas out there. Instead of dreading the next party I have to plan, I’m actually looking forward to it. My wallet is too!

One of the things to remember when it comes to education and nutrition is the importance of eating breakfast. Research has been conducted for many years and the results continue to show how children who eat breakfast on a regular basis consistently score higher on standardized tests. They also exhibit better classroom behavior and experience hyperactivity less often. Children who eat breakfast each school day are also less likely to feel sleepy in class.

A healthy breakfast might include an egg, a slice of whole wheat bread with peanut butter, a piece of their favorite fruit, and a glass of ice cold low-fat milk. You can substitute a piece of lean meat, 100% fruit juice, and whole grain cereals to give them variety. The fiber and protein in the meal will help your child remain focused and keep them satisfied until they are able to eat lunch.

Some children adore sugary cereal for breakfast but that’s really not a good choice. Neither is pancakes made with white flour and sticky sweet syrup. These will give your child a sugar rush but will also cause them to crash later in the day. Whole grain crackers, nuts, cheese and fruit can be sent with your child if they need a snack before lunch.

In the past, school cafeterias have been known to provide lunches which weren’t very healthy. Too many hamburgers, French fries, and pizza have been served to school age children for far too long. Thankfully school dieticians are now offering healthy foods for better learning experiences and to help the children learn to make better food choices.

Eating healthier foods at lunchtime can make such an improvement in a child’s behavior for the remaining part of the school day. It’s taken a good bit of convincing to get schools to make the necessary changes, however, and they’ll tell you it wasn’t easy. Offering healthy salads, sandwiches made on whole grain breads, and soups can also help your child feel fuller when they return home.

After school your child may want a snack. Don’t deprive them, rather give them healthy choices such as carrot sticks, celery, fresh fruit, whole nuts, or yogurt. Whatever you choose to offer, be sure they won’t become too full and not want to have dinner.

Research has proven time and time again how important it is for children to eat healthy foods for better learning. This includes eating healthy breakfast foods which will give your child energy and the ability to focus, and will ensure they have a great day.

In recent years, there seems to be an explosion of software created with the senior citizen in mind. With so many seniors developing dementia or other conditions affecting the intellect, companies are not only creating software which will improve one’s memory, but may actually help them stay physically and mentally fit.

InSight software by Posit Science is one example of software being tested to see how it improves a senior’s safety behind the wheel. Some insurance companies are offering the opportunity to help evaluate the software to determine how much it can help seniors have reduced accidents. If the program is successful in what it purports to do, those using the software may receive auto insurance discounts.

While the software isn’t inexpensive, $395 for a single user, it promises to be beneficial. Each person using the software “plays” computer games which will help them notice things easier as well as stay engaged as they drive. Previous research claims that dangerous driving was reduced by nearly 40 percent among people using this brain training software for seniors.

Health insurance companies are also jumping on the “brain training” bandwagon as are assisted living homes throughout the nation. Do you have to shell out a lot of money to get the benefits of the brain training software? Absolutely not!

When the Nintendo DS Lite first came out, one of the few games you could get was called Brain Age. This software is a series of games which helps the user stay focused while playing, and this could translate to improved mental health. In fact, there are studies being conducted which indicate these brain games can actually help delay the effects of Alzheimer’s disease.

Nintendo also offers Flash Focus for the DS. Along with improving memory, this game may also improve vision. Brain Age 2 picks up where the original game left off and puts forward additional games which can help bolster a senior’s brain power.

Critical thinking skills can be improved by finding Sudoku software games. Mah Jong Quest II is another game which can build stamina and improve a senior’s observation ability. These are readily available on the internet, as are many other such games.

Doctors will explain the importance of keeping seniors engaged in activities which will fend off dementia when it first begins. Of course, the traditional method of treating it with medication is also available if the doctor prescribes it. However, playing some of the brain training software for seniors is fun and can assist in keeping seniors mentally active as well.

One of the most important things to do if you notice a loved one showing signs of alcohol abuse is acknowledge it; don’t ignore it. If they think they can get away with their drinking and any unbecoming behavior it might encourage them to continue drinking. You can let them know you’re concerned by saying “I’m worried about the amount you’ve been drinking. Could you have a problem?”

Offer your help in whatever way possible. Find out when and where the local Alcoholics Anonymous chapter meets. Pass that information to them but don’t be surprised if they don’t use it, at least not right away.

If they do decide to go to an AA meeting, find out if they have any open meetings which allow family to attend. Having someone with them who is in their corner can be instrumental in getting them to the meeting. Some chapters have family meetings which will give you more information about the disease and what you can do to help.

Remove any temptation from your home. If a family member is having problems with alcoholism, remove all alcohol from the home. They can’t drink if they don’t have access to it. Other family members who enjoy a drink on occasion don’t have to become teetotalers, but they may want to only drink when that person isn’t around.

Don’t believe everything they say. Some alcoholics will tell you anything you want to hear as long as it gets them what they need. They may promise to go into treatment if you’ll help them, but don’t believe them. They’re not trying to hurt or deceive you; their illness is causing them to act that way.

Set specific boundaries and help them stick to those boundaries. The most important boundary to have is that they quit drinking. It won’t be an easy boundary for them to stay within but for their health, and maybe yours and your children’s health, that’s the one boundary that they need to adhere to.

Practice ‘tough love.’ Sometimes all you’ll want to do is take over and solve some of the predicaments your loved one gets into. This won’t help them recover; in fact, it may enable them to continue drinking and become more mixed up with alcohol. Sometimes it’s important to realize you may be able to help them most by not helping them at all. They need to come to the point where they realize they need to stop drinking, and they’ll never learn that if you’re always bailing them out.

If your family has been affected by alcoholism, knowing how to give support to a loved one isn’t easy. It’s a fine line you’ll be forced to walk. However, if you continue to show them that you love them but don’t love what they become when they drink, they may learn that they don’t need to depend on alcohol.

A woman may choose to drink for a variety of reasons. She may need to reduce stress in her life and feels a drink can help her relax. If she’s a teenager, she may also feel peer pressure to both drink and have sex. Unfortunately, some women are addicted to alcohol and that’s not a good thing when a woman finds out she’s expecting a child.

It’s unlikely a single alcoholic beverage is going to cause any birth defects in your unborn child, but that’s not the case when more alcohol is consumed. Binge drinking, which is relatively common among high school and college students, is drinking more than five drinks in one sitting. Frequent drinking is having seven or more drinks over the course of a week. Either of these instances could lead to a child developing birth defects.

What types of birth defects are possible if you choose to drink alcohol during pregnancy? Your unborn child basically has a glass of wine whenever you drink one. Alcohol passes through the placenta directly to the unborn child. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) is the result of a mother’s heavy drinking during pregnancy.

It is possible that your unborn child will not be affected by FAS if you drink before your child is born, but do you want to take the risk? Doctors may not readily diagnose FAS because some of the birth defects aren’t apparent until the child begins to develop intellectually and behaviorally.

Children with FAS typically have a mental/neurologic defect. They may also be diagnosed as failing to thrive because they grow slower than other children. Their heads may also be smaller and they may experience slowed intellectual development.

It is also more likely that woman will miscarry or have a premature birth if she consistently drinks alcohol during pregnancy. The child may also have low birth weight and there may be complications during the birth. Babies born with FAS may need to be placed in an intensive care unit especially for newborns, which is often referred to as a NICU.

The risks of drinking alcohol during pregnancy will greatly affect the unborn child; however, it can also adversely affect the mother. She may develop cirrhosis of the liver, kidney failure, cancer of the mouth, esophagus, and stomach, and the drinking may lead to brain damage.

Once you know the risks of drinking alcohol during pregnancy, for both the baby and the mother, you may want to reconsider that next drink. We may want to relax and think a drink will help, but is it worth our health or that of our child?